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I couldn't do anything about it.I had no will of my own and had become a spectator of my own life. Itwas no longer about what I was doing, but what was being done to me.These are classic symptoms of depression or the blues.As I sat there waiting for the kettle to boil, Sarah came into thekitchen."John, you know that when you dress as a girl, you need to have a newname. We can't go round calling you John. I think it would beempowering for you, on becoming a girl, to choose your own name."A normal guy, determined to hold on to his masculinity, who found himselfdressed like me might have noticed how Sarah had stated "When you dressas a girl" where such a guy might have said "If you dress as a girl." Hemight also have said that he would not be becoming a girl and it wouldnot be empowering for him to choose a girl's name for himself.But as I have already indicated, I was depressed and was pretty muchresigned to the inevitability of my feminisation so these thoughts didn'toccur to. I didn't think they would send a woman," Fred said, soundingdisappointed. This new development had not been factored into his plan. "Why do you feel that way, Mr. Wilkins?" Waters asked. "Do you have aproblem with women?"Fred shook his head. "Not as a rule, no," he replied, quickly adding, "Iguess it doesn't really matter."Dr. Waters smiled at him, a wide and professional smile. "That's good,"she said, "because I hope we can work together. I think I can help you."This statement seemed to amuse Fred. "I know you can," he quietlyquipped."I'm glad you agree," Waters said, beaming. She was feeling pretty goodabout herself at the moment. She seemed to be making progress with apatient that had previously been considered unapproachable.Fred answered all of her questions calmly and politely. Waters wasthrilled that her subject, who had previously been labelled as difficultand hostile, had opened up to her so quickly. Despite his initialattitude towards her gender, of perhaps because of it,.
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